The saying goes ‘happy wife, happy life,’ but there are a number of reasons why unhappy men are choosing to file for divorce.
Sydney marriage counsellor Clinton Power from Clinton Power + Associates said feeling under-appreciated, problems being buried, betrayal or growing apart are all reasons why men choose to walk away.
Here Mr. Power shares the top five reasons men leave their marriages, and what you should do if your marriage is on the brink.
‘It’s important that both the husband and wife worked together to satisfy the needs and feelings of each other,’ Mr. Power said.
Too much conflict in a marriage is one of the most common reasons men walk away from failing relationships.
‘When couples are caught in cycles of criticism and defensiveness, this erodes their ability to feel safe, secure, and loved,’ he said.
Just as detrimental to relationships are people Mr. Power described as ‘conflict-avoiders’ who might appear happy but still file for divorce.
‘They bury issues and avoid straight-talk with each other. Men that leave these marriages have often been silently fuming inside for many years,’ he said.
Loss of intimacy and connection is another huge contributor to why men leave marriages.
Mr. Power said when that intimate connection fades or stops completely men can be left feeling disempowered, frustrated, depressed or hopeless.
Similarly sexual betrayal can be a huge hit to a man’s confidence and self-esteem and make him doubt everything once shared in the marriage.
‘Couples can heal from sexual betrayal, but it can take a lot of work and requires the healing of a lot of pain,’ Mr. Power said.
Another reason men walk away from their marriage is because they feel under-appreciated by their wife.
‘When men feel under-appreciated for long periods of time they can start to look outside the relationship to get these needs met,’ Mr. Power said.
‘This can lead to emotional or sexual affairs which can lead to a man leaving a marriage.’
Over time couples can grow apart, and if this disconnect is not addressed, it can lead to divorce.
Mr. power said couples who think their marriage is on the brink should seek the help of a professional marriage counsellor.
‘When you invest so many years in a marriage with someone you love, it’s worth doing everything you can to help save the relationship before you get a divorce,’ he said.
‘Relationship therapy has been proven to be highly effective for many marriages that are on the brink of divorce.’