Barack Obama ATTACKED By Violent Thug On DC Golf Course

An incident at an upscale Washington DC golf course ends uncovering the shocking details behind a White House domestic violence cover-up. This is the first case of domestic violence ever to be connected to a sitting US President.

The alleged assault was reported Tuesday by a local DC emergency room physician, Dr. Thomas Bittner.

Dr. Bittner claimed President Barack Obama entered the ER about 12:30pm with a concussion and multiple bruises.

The medical file notes Obama’s full disclosure of the experience:

“Well, it was like this”, said Obama “I was having quite a round of golf this morning with my wife Michelle, when we reached a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows”. “We went looking for them, and while I was rooting around in the field I noticed that one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball suck right in the middle of the cows butt”.

“That’s when I made my mistake”, claimed the President, “I walked over and lifted up the tail, pointed and yelled to the first lady, ‘Hey! This looks like yours!’”

Those involved in domestic violence are advised to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in over 170 languages. All calls are confidential and anonymous.

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